We go to friends’ for dinner and I admire a tree outside their door and they say: Take it home.
I felt guilty (are you sure?) but I do, I take it home (they insisted).
I see it every time I look out back.
I go on the Jezebel site a lot. I recently noticed they had an article on Things I Hate About Christmas. It included things like gift cards (and I love them!!), mistletoe (how can you hate that?) and old-timey carolers (which I am fine with as long as no one makes ME dress up like that).
So I was thinking: what would my list be? I love so many things that I hear other people criticize. I love shopping at Christmas time. I love listening to the same Christmas music and watching the same Christmas specials. I love coloured Christmas lights and Christmas trees and I love saying Merry Christmas.
This is what I came up with:
1. I really really don’t like that Paul McCartney song ‘Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time’. I figure that is the background music to some really bloody, horrible gorey plot of revenge, madness and psychopathy.
2. Grass. I am conflicted. I hate driving in snow and I love the mild weather right now. But I really hate the idea of a green Christmas.
3. Christmas cake. This may come as a duh to most, but I spent years LOVING Christmas cake. It was always one of my presents under the tree as well as a birthday present so I could start eating early. But I grew out of it a few years back. I still get them wrapped under the tree but I don’t eat them anymore – I give them to my Dad.
4. Tinsel. We put tinsel on our tree when I was growing up and my mom was very particular about how many strands went on each branch (three). My child version of me grew very frustrated. So my grown-up version of me renounced tinsel. Too much bother.
5. December 26. I am not sure that this technically counts but I hate Boxing Day. Why? Christmas is over. 365 days till Christmas. I’m always a little sad. I have to stop myself from taking down the tree that morning, as I hate the reminders. I always figured I would grow out of this someday. I haven’t.